The Etiquette of Courting
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Hey Nick, I was wanting to ask you about etiquette.
Well Nick, that is a very expansive field to be covering and something we should all be trying to learn more about everyday. I am not an etiquette expert though, so what in specific were you wanting to know?
Well actually Nick, it continues from yesterday’s discussion, it’s about etiquette dating, or more to the point, the etiquette of courting a girl.
Ok, well this is an area where we all get stuck from time to time. How do we let someone know they like us, both without coming across as desperate and without making the relationship awkward if the feelings aren’t reciprocated. In some ways it’s a little bit like overtaking a truck on an interstate freeway, you have to judge the situation, make sure you get your timing right and go into it with a fully fledged exit strategy. So firstly it’s important to remember that guys and girls are very, very different when it comes to expressing their feelings. And love is a risky feeling to be expressing, that is why we play these cat and mouse games. You need to be yourself at all times, now that doesn’t mean be 100% honest about absolutely everything at all times, a little bit of mystery is all part of the game, what you do need though is to be 100% honest with yourself about the way you feel and why your pursing someone. Often we will be in a situation where we start pursuing someone that we think we like, maybe out of jealousy or because we have had to spend a lot of time with them in a short burst. By establishing the true reasons for our feelings it will not only reduce the risks involved in courting someone, but give you a lot more confidence in playing the game. And there’s that word again, “game”, it is important to remember to be having fun during courting, because if you’re not, its an uphill battle to stimulate a fun environment. Patience is also required, so if you are really serious about someone, then be patient in the game. After all if you rush your technique then you will increase the likelihood of falter. Desperation is never attractive. An example of rushing your play, is when you give a girl a lift home, this is always a good start, if she says yes of course otherwise that’s a felony; but if you rush your play and demand a kiss at the end of the journey then that’s just creepy. And Creepy is unattractive. It is impossible to truly interpret all of your actions from another persons point of view, but if you can have some gauge on your actions, such as seeing other people do similar things and making a mental note of the results then you are in the box seat. Being relaxed and open is a conducive environment for romantic developments, being casual about the situation, and remembering that if it doesn’t happen tonight you will still wake up with another opportunity tomorrow. But being casual doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings or hiding them, this is a discussion about etiquette remember, and at some point you will have to lay your cards on the table, or to put it more bluntly ‘make a move’. So let me put it into a little formula so that I can tie everything we’ve said together. Success = opportunity + preparation. Once you’ve established how you really feel, and take some time to do that, explore other avenues before going for the jugular, and you’ve done your social research (don’t stalk people though), then you will be simply waiting on the opportunity. This is not opportunism by the way, remember overtaking a truck on the interstate requires perfect timing. But the etiquette is always in assessing and maintaining the other persons feelings.
So I have to do my due diligence and put my pride in my pocket a little bit, is that what your saying Nick?
Yep, that’s what I am saying Nick, but don’t forget to actually make the move!
About the author: Nick Ulbrick
Original article: The Etiquette of Courting
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